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Harmless Jinxes

may your birdfeeder attract rodents
may you choose the grocery cart with a janky wheel
may your toilet bowl be extra echo-y
may the airlines scuff up your luggage
may you settle into bed all comfy and cozy, only to realize that you have to pee
may your credit card get briefly stuck in the chip reader when you have a long line behind you
may your coworkers point out how tired you look
may you get lipstick on your teeth
may you receive a backhanded compliment that replays in your head for the rest of the day
may your hot date have awful taste in movies/music
may all the produce in your fridge spoil before you get the chance to cook it
may your smoke detector go off while you're cooking
May your pillow never have a “cold” side when sleeping.
May you feel like a rock is stuck in your shoe when walking.
May you always drop your keys before unlocking any doors
May your shower only give you lukewarm water
May your razors always be slightly too dull when you want to shave.
may you receive spam calls often
May your winged eyeliner never be even
may your gravy be lumpy
may all your doorknobs be sticky
may you put down your hot tea/coffee and forget about it until it's too cold to properly enjoy.
may your antibacterial gel leave a sticky residue on your hands

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.